As a mother, you often hear older mothers say the words, 'Enjoy every moment! It goes fast!'. Now, I completely agree with the latter part of that statement. Babies do not stay babies for long and when it's gone, the change is over-night and absolutely incredible.
However, I couldn't disagree more with the first part. 'Enjoy every moment!'...ARE YOU SERIOUS??!! No woman, in her right mind, can look me in the eye and say that she genuinely enjoyed every single moment with her babies. I will call her a liar faster than she can blink. At which point does a mom begin to 'enjoy' being up at 3 in the morning and ending up with poo on her hands because she's changing a disgusting diaper through half open, unconscious eyes?! That is not something you can 'enjoy'. I'm fairly certain that people who enjoy playing with poo, end up in a mental institution. What woman 'enjoys' getting no sleep for what can be months? Or, my personal favorite, getting pooped and peed on at all hours of the night and day, then, when they're supposed to be going to bed, having to put the baby in the tub because they have poo from their butts to their ears and back, hearing them scream at ear-shattering levels for 15 minutes, getting a floppy newborn out of the tub by yourself, listening to more painful shrieks as you dry them off, dress them, and bundle them for bed. Not to mention, that once and IF you manage to get them calmed down, you go to lay them down, and the end of the world happens for the 50th time that day. All of a sudden, every blood vessel in their face is about to burst and you're wondering why you didn't consider adoption at the first sign of those pink lines. You're exhausted, frustrated, and beyond confused. You 'enjoyed' that?! Well, you're an idiot.
Let me just say to my friends who are pregnant, are about to have their baby or are holding their newborn as we speak...DO NOT feel guilty because you don't enjoy every second with your child. Don't feel guilty because sometimes, you don't care to hold them or because you just want your quiet house back. Don't feel guilty because you aren't jumping for joy at the thought of waking them up to eat. I would even go as far as to say, do not feel guilty because that little 8 pound human in the other room, actually scares you. Lastly, DO NOT feel guilty because, when you hear the words, 'Enjoy every moment!', you want to cry and scream out, ' BUT I'M NOT!!!'. There's nothing realistic about enjoying every second with a baby, a toddler, a teenager or an adult. Do you enjoy every second with your husband?! NO. You get angry at him, you fight with him, sometimes you want him to leave you alone for a little while, don't you? And don't say no because I'll call you a liar too.
My point is that having a child, no matter what their age, is the hardest things you will ever do. Being a mother doesn't come 'naturally'. I'm sorry to tell you this but, when you have that baby, you don't immediately get the knowledge of how to soothe a baby who has been screaming for hours. Motherhood is not always glamorous. There are days when you will not be able to shower, comb your hair or even brush your teeth. There is nothing wrong with that. Children are hard work and they don't have a '15 minute break' rule.
Hear this, my friends, you are not alone. You are not a bad mother. You are learning the things that will make you a great mother. There is great wisdom in the statement, 'Each child is different.' There is no manual you can read that will fix everything. What you need to do, is calm down and realize that the anger, exhaustion and confusion you feel, is perfectly fine. It will not last forever. You will find your way and your baby will not grow up to be a terror. You can find your enjoyment in the few hours that they sleep and, when they do, sit down a relax on the couch! Your joy will come when you hear their first laugh and, after weeks of trying, watch them rollover for the first time. Find your solitude in the sweet bundle that is asleep on your chest and forget how long it took to get them that way. Find peace in their brief smiles and tiny hands, my friends. These things won't last forever either.